I Tried Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies!

captain_kutchie_key_lime

This post has nothing to do with the dark web, unless there’s a keylimepie772ma.onion.  It’s just a subject that’s mystified me a bit lately.

I mentioned on the post Investigating Translate Gate that I’m a fan of the YouTube channels Nightmare Expo and Elder’s Vault (links below), because, let’s face it – I love a good mystery.

On March 30, Elder posted a video entitled The Impossible Poster: My Look into the Infamous Captain Kutchie, which discussed a strange phenomenon occurring across the internet for what appeared to be 10 years or more.

There’s an “entity” who posts on all types of sites (e.g. recipe websites, forums, and relationship advice articles), referencing a place called Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe (also called by other names). The reviews tend to be strange and rambling in nature, and while you could just pass them off as any old food review, that’s clearly not the case.

captain_kutchie_people

As Elder mentions in his video, this “Captain Kutchie” has made hundreds of thousands of posts across many different areas of the internet (although not the dark web yet, to my knowledge!). According to his research (as well as mine), this is a place that once existed, although at present, it appears to be closed – for good, that is.

The restaurant in question appears to have been located at:

2186 Hendersonville Road

South Asheville-Arden, NC 28801

captain_kutchie_map

For an example of one of the reviews I’m referring to, here: Foodio54: Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe. There are several different comments by different accounts rambling about the restaurant, its key lime pie, and its owners. In fact, that’s one of the other strange things about the comments – they often have a sexual undertone to them.

captain_kutchie_review

Examples? Of course I had to use a green font – it’s key lime pie, after all:

“It just doesn’t get any 
better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and her 
husband “Captain Kutchie’s” place..Some Folks Also Call Him..”The 
KutchMan others call him The Kutchmon!”…Most Just Call Him “The Most 
Interesting Man In The World”….(Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West, Key 
Lime Pie Factory and Grill)…Just watching the lovely couple baking together all those Yummy 
Key Lime Pies at their Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill in Asheville. 
…It’s always worth the trip to visit them in they’re Historic Key Lime 
Pie Factory and Grill…It should be on everyone’s bucket list for 
sure..And The World’s Best Key Lime Pies!..YUM-YUM-YUM….­­.”Talk About 
World Class” What An Understatement!…….AA­­HHHHH!….The Magic Of The 
Lovely..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” And Her Delicious Key Lime Pies Baked With 
Pure Love…Always……40 Years And They’re Still Going Strong….” 

Like Elder and Nightmare Expo, I can really only speculate as to who this “person” or group is, and what the motivation behind all these posts is. One of the answers that they both posited was that a large group or cult could be responsible, which would be able to explain how the posts could be so widespread. It would also explain how they could get past any anti-spam/anti-bot measures.

Still, even if that explains the “how,” it doesn’t explain the “why.” Could they just be trolls, or is there some kind of hidden meaning behind the pie reviews? If it is a cult, are they worshiping key lime pie? Heck, it’s the internet; anything’s possible.

captain_kutchie_discogs

 

Perhaps it’s some combination of all the different theories – maybe some of the comments are by a bot, while others are by humans. It’s also possible that a group of people are behind it. Given all the sexual references, could it be a group of people that are into some kind of kinky stuff and are using “key lime pie” as a code? That could be a bit of a stretch, but you never know. After all, there are lots of forums for that sort of thing.

Again, I wish I had a “solution” to all this, but that’s what makes a mystery fun, right?

P.S. If you’re wondering if this is on the dark web, I checked briefly on Tor, and didn’t come across it. Maybe we should keep it going there, just for the hell of it! What do you say, fans??

fe_11fcb359340323c4_spcms_0

For reference, here are a few other Captain Kutchie posts, as well as Nightmare Expo’s video:

Strange Reviews for “Pie” That Doesn’t Exist

They call it Crack Pie – A PIECE of TOAST

Lago Mar Beach Resort & Club – Google+

https://books.google.com/books/about/The_New_Partridge_Dictionary_of_Slang_an.html?id=mAdUqLrKw4YC

https://books.google.com/books/about/Unprintable_Ozark_Folksongs_and_Folklore.html?id=rXAE-KbkomsC

https://www.tvfoodmaps.com/restaurant/FL/Key-West/Blonde-Giraffe

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/comment/545831#comment-545831

 

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16 thoughts on “I Tried Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies!

  1. I believe these posts to be a modern form of the cold war numbers stations. The posts are very specific… The first part is written in lower case with capital letters used at the beginning of each sentence. The message is hidden in the second part where all the words start with caps. I believe the series of periods at the end of sentences are the key that will decipher the code, or some kind of binary (IP address?) that links where to post the reply.

    1. Good point. I had been thinking that too. Some people had theorized that with CAPTCHAs and that sort of thing, a bot wouldn’t be able to post on all these sites, but some sites have better anti-spam measures than others.

  2. The infamous “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”.! That’s it!! I just got it!…It just popped into my head, right-out of the blue!
    I can’t believe that we have all been so stupid for the past 20 or so years about something that was right in front of our noses. Elder, you hit the nail on the head! Can’t you all see it?..Elder called the mystery key lime pie man “The Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”. Can all of you Morons see it now? It’s just Brilliant, just Brilliant Elder. Elder called Kutchie Pelaez…..”The INfamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”!!!..INFAMOUS! That’s It!!! INFAMOUS, INFAMOUS Means
    More than FAMOUS!

    Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE than FAMOUS, He’s more than famous, he is INFAMOUS! And that’s pretty DAMN SMART if you ask me. HELL, that’s “INSMART”. Captain Kutchie Pelaez is more than FAMOUS, Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE THAN SMART!….Pardon all the dots, no they’re not some kind of secret code or anything that I know of.

    The One really Big Thing that none of these crazy posts ever comments about are The Million’s of Dollars that the Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez gives away to his lucky Prime Rib eaters every month. We usually only hear about his famous cheese burgers in paradise but the man’s Prime Ribs in Swamp Water are the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth! The finest Prime Ribs this side if Heaven, they will melt in your mouth. Our whole family goes over to Kutcharitaville at least twice a week for Captain Kutchie’s amazing Prime Ribs. Also we can enter the contest for the monthly million dollar give away every month. My cousin won a million dollars last year. His wife won a new Jaguar car
    two months later. I won a car before Christmas and you talk about nice. It was INNICE!…that means it was more than nice.
    Y’all keep eating at Captain Kutchie’s and keep you’re fingers crossed whenever you enjoy Kutchie’s World Famous Roast Prime Ribs of Beef and Key Lime Pie and just maybe, if you’re lucky you might win yourself a cool Million Dollars!

    1

  3. The infamous “Captain Kutchie Pelaez”.! That’s it!! I just got it!…It just popped into my head, right-out of the blue!
    I can’t believe that we have all been so stupid for the past 20 or so years about something that was right in front of our noses. Elder, you hit the nail on the head! Can’t you all see it?..Elder called the mystery key lime pie man “The Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”. Can all of you Morons see it now? It’s just Brilliant, just Brilliant Elder. Elder called Kutchie Pelaez…..”The INfamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”!!!..INFAMOUS! That’s It!!! INFAMOUS, INFAMOUS Means
    More than FAMOUS!

    Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE than FAMOUS, He’s more than famous, he is INFAMOUS! And that’s pretty DAMN SMART if you ask me. HELL, that’s “INSMART”. Captain Kutchie Pelaez is more than FAMOUS, Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE THAN SMART!….Pardon all the dots, no they’re not some kind of secret code or anything that I know of.

    The One really Big Thing that none of these crazy posts ever comments about are The Million’s of Dollars that the Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez gives away to his lucky Prime Rib eaters every month. We usually only hear about his famous cheese burgers in paradise but the man’s Prime Ribs in Swamp Water are the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth! The finest Prime Ribs this side of Heaven, they will melt in your mouth. Our whole family goes over to Kutcharitaville at least twice a week for Captain Kutchie’s amazing Prime Ribs. Also we can enter the contest for the monthly million dollar give away every month. My cousin won a million dollars last year. His wife won a new Jaguar car
    two months later. I won a car before Christmas and you talk about nice. It was INNICE!…that means it was more than nice.
    Y’all keep eating at Captain Kutchie’s and keep you’re fingers crossed whenever you enjoy Kutchie’s World Famous Roast Prime Ribs of Beef and Key Lime Pie and just maybe, if you’re lucky you might win yourself a cool Million Dollars!
    Like Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez of The World Famous Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville always used too say was “Size really does Matter cuze nobody really want’s a small Burrito! The Captain Kutchie also used too say is we’ve been smoken the Good Stuff since 1976 and for you’d too Keep the Faith Babbie’s!

    My husband Stan and me we’re told by Captain Kutchie himself just last month that he had been thinking about wrapping apple wood smoked bacon all around his world famous Prime Ribs before roasting them. All of a sudden Stan blurts out What the Fuck are you attempting too do too the Finest Prime Ribs Ever? After a little while and giving the idea quite a bit of though it started too sound like a Delicious Thought too the both of us and we wished Captain Kutchie good luck with his latest endeavors. Please tell everyone that you guys know and for them too tell everyone that they know to do likewise and for everyone too just get Online and lets see once and for all, just what everyone thinks about Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Big New Idea’s about His World Famous Prime Ribs of Beef. We are quite sure that Yankee Jack will be chiming in on Kutchie’s New Big Idea.

  4. Hey Y’all, Here is a little update for y’all.
    Keep eating Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s World Famous Key Lime Pies and those Yummy Yummy For You’re Tummy “Roast Prime Ribs of Beef” and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you will win yourself a Cool Million Dollars in the Captain’s Monthly Giveaway.
    The infamous “Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez”.! That’s it!! I just got it!…It just popped into my head, right-out of the blue!
    I can’t believe that we have all been so stupid for the past 20 or so years about something that was right in front of our noses. Elder, you hit the nail on the head! Can’t you all see it?..Elder called the mystery key lime pie man “The Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”. Can all of you Morons see it now? It’s just Brilliant, just Brilliant Elder. Elder called Kutchie Pelaez…..”The INfamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez”!!!..INFAMOUS! That’s It!!! INFAMOUS, INFAMOUS Means
    More than FAMOUS!

    Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE than FAMOUS, He’s more than famous, he is INFAMOUS! And that’s pretty DAMN SMART if you ask me. HELL, that’s “INSMART”. Captain Kutchie Pelaez is more than FAMOUS, Captain Kutchie Pelaez is MORE THAN SMART!….Pardon all the dots, no they’re not some kind of secret code or anything that I know of.

    The One really Big Thing that none of these crazy posts ever comments about are The Million’s of Dollars that the Infamous Captain Kutchie Pelaez gives away to his lucky Prime Rib eaters every month. We usually only hear about his famous cheese burgers in paradise but the man’s Prime Ribs in Swamp Water are the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth! The finest Prime Ribs this side of Heaven, they will melt in your mouth. Our whole family goes over to Kutcharitaville at least twice a week for Captain Kutchie’s amazing Prime Ribs. Also we can enter the contest for the monthly million dollar give away every month. My cousin won a million dollars last year. His wife won a new Jaguar car
    two months later. I won a car before Christmas and you talk about nice. It was INNICE!…that means it was more than nice.
    Y’all keep eating at Captain Kutchie’s and keep you’re fingers crossed whenever you enjoy Kutchie’s World Famous Roast Prime Ribs of Beef and Key Lime Pie and just maybe, if you’re lucky you might win yourself a cool Million Dollars!
    Like Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez of The World Famous Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville always used too say was “Size really does Matter cuze nobody really want’s a small Burrito! The Captain Kutchie also used too say is we’ve been smoken the Good Stuff since 1976 and for you’d too Keep the Faith Babbie’s!

    My husband Stan and me we’re told by Captain Kutchie himself just last month that he had been thinking about wrapping apple wood smoked bacon all around his world famous Prime Ribs before roasting them. All of a sudden Stan blurts out What the Fuck are you attempting too do too the Finest Prime Ribs Ever? After a little while and giving the idea quite a bit of though it started too sound like a Delicious Thought too the both of us and we wished Captain Kutchie good luck with his latest endeavors. Please tell everyone that you guys know and for them too tell everyone that they know to do likewise and for everyone too just get Online and lets see once and for all, just what everyone thinks about Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s Big New Idea’s about His World Famous Prime Ribs of Beef. We are quite sure that Yankee Jack will be chiming in on Kutchie’s New Big Idea.

    Chewbacca Bye Bye, Keep the Faith Baby!

    Will the Royal Baby win The Kentucky Derby?
    Better Yet, Who really Gives a Shit?

    That Rep. Jerry Nadler (D) NY, Rag Head llhan Omar (D) Minn, Alex Ocasio-Horetez (D) NY, Ayanna Lesbo Pressley (D) Mass.., Rashida Tlaib (D) Mich., Al Green (D) Tx., Pocahantas Vermont Tribe with Bernie Sanders, Nervous Nancy Cookville Calf., Rachel Madnow (MSNBC), Robert De Negro (NY), Shifty Schiff Cookvill Calf., El Chapo, Bozo O’ Rourke (Who Cares)., Maxine Impeach Waters Cookville Calf., Woopi Goldbrick (ABC)., Joy Blowhard (ABC)., Rainny Hostin (ABC)., Juan Williams (FOX NEWS)., Adoff Hilter (HELL)., Hell-They’re All really some kind of Commie’s ? Impeach Them NOW!!! Oh, I forgot one, The Rev. Al Not-So-Sharpton, very interesting butt Stupid!
    Let’s Send them all to the moon for the next 50 Years!

    What would Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Say?
    Well, He would probably say something like “No Soup For You!!!”. “Come Back 50 years”. Or something like for all those “Politicos” “Stay Away From Those Manholes” and he would say “Don’t Get None On Ya!”.

    Anyway, we sure-do still agree with all those “Kutcharitaville and Chef Captain Kutchie Pelaez Reports that everyone has been posting for the last 25 years or however long this internet thing has been going on. Captain Kutchie has been World Famous way longer than this stupid internet for damn sure. You can take that to the bank, it’s GOLD Jerry it’s GOLD! Or put it in your pipe and smoke it.

    He would also say, All of today’s Anti Trumpers are mad because, they were promised by The Dragon Lady HerSelf “Hillary Clinton” a leading Membership in Hillary’s 666 New World Order!

    What makes all these Racist, Commie Leftest Liberal Wannabee everything for nothing AssHoles and they’re Scum Sucking Pig, Fake News Chicken-Shit, Ass Licking Fake Reporters think that they can outsmart our “Lord Christ Jesus”? Hillary, your lord Satan was defeated way back on The Cross and yet, YOU, continue to deceive and recruit all those weak souls that you can fool too follow you back home straight too HELL!

    Please don’t hold all this garbage against me and Captain Kutchie but It is what it is.

    Bye, Bye, Y’all

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