This post has nothing to do with the dark web, unless there’s a keylimepie772ma.onion. It’s just a subject that’s mystified me a bit lately.
I mentioned on the post Investigating Translate Gate that I’m a fan of the YouTube channels Nightmare Expo and Elder’s Vault (links below), because, let’s face it – I love a good mystery.
On March 30, Elder posted a video entitled The Impossible Poster: My Look into the Infamous Captain Kutchie, which discussed a strange phenomenon occurring across the internet for what appeared to be 10 years or more.
There’s an “entity” who posts on all types of sites (e.g. recipe websites, forums, and relationship advice articles), referencing a place called Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe (also called by other names). The reviews tend to be strange and rambling in nature, and while you could just pass them off as any old food review, that’s clearly not the case.
As Elder mentions in his video, this “Captain Kutchie” has made hundreds of thousands of posts across many different areas of the internet (although not the dark web yet, to my knowledge!). According to his research (as well as mine), this is a place that once existed, although at present, it appears to be closed – for good, that is.
The restaurant in question appears to have been located at:
2186 Hendersonville Road
South Asheville-Arden, NC 28801
For an example of one of the reviews I’m referring to, here: Foodio54: Kutchie’s Key West Kutcharitaville Cafe. There are several different comments by different accounts rambling about the restaurant, its key lime pie, and its owners. In fact, that’s one of the other strange things about the comments – they often have a sexual undertone to them.
Examples? Of course I had to use a green font – it’s key lime pie, after all:
“It just doesn’t get any
better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and her
husband “Captain Kutchie’s” place..Some Folks Also Call Him..”The
KutchMan others call him The Kutchmon!”…Most Just Call Him “The Most
Interesting Man In The World”….(Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West, Key
Lime Pie Factory and Grill)…Just watching the lovely couple baking together all those Yummy
Key Lime Pies at their Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill in Asheville.
…It’s always worth the trip to visit them in they’re Historic Key Lime
Pie Factory and Grill…It should be on everyone’s bucket list for
sure..And The World’s Best Key Lime Pies!..YUM-YUM-YUM…..”Talk About
World Class” What An Understatement!…….AAHHHHH!….The Magic Of The
Lovely..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” And Her Delicious Key Lime Pies Baked With
Pure Love…Always……40 Years And They’re Still Going Strong….”
Like Elder and Nightmare Expo, I can really only speculate as to who this “person” or group is, and what the motivation behind all these posts is. One of the answers that they both posited was that a large group or cult could be responsible, which would be able to explain how the posts could be so widespread. It would also explain how they could get past any anti-spam/anti-bot measures.
Still, even if that explains the “how,” it doesn’t explain the “why.” Could they just be trolls, or is there some kind of hidden meaning behind the pie reviews? If it is a cult, are they worshiping key lime pie? Heck, it’s the internet; anything’s possible.
Perhaps it’s some combination of all the different theories – maybe some of the comments are by a bot, while others are by humans. It’s also possible that a group of people are behind it. Given all the sexual references, could it be a group of people that are into some kind of kinky stuff and are using “key lime pie” as a code? That could be a bit of a stretch, but you never know. After all, there are lots of forums for that sort of thing.
Again, I wish I had a “solution” to all this, but that’s what makes a mystery fun, right?
P.S. If you’re wondering if this is on the dark web, I checked briefly on Tor, and didn’t come across it. Maybe we should keep it going there, just for the hell of it! What do you say, fans??
For reference, here are a few other Captain Kutchie posts, as well as Nightmare Expo’s video: